On top of Texas, to be the highest people in Texas, if for only a brief period of time was very appealing to me. I don't know if it is appealing to everyone; perhaps not. I did not grow up hiking, camping, and climbing. My parents were more of the RV crowd. We would go to campgrounds with full hookups. A hike with my parents would not be too far off the beaten path. That being said, we certainly ended up following the leave no trace principles before their day. We went to the touristy National Parks, stayed many weekends in Michigan state parks and for the most part did not venture off onto any trail that took you longer than a half mile from any parking area. I did get to see some spectacular places when I was a child. But I think we spent more time in amusement parks and museums than we did in the great outdoors.

Since Emily and I started camping with Girl Scouts I have learned to enjoy and look forward to being outdoors. We camped without electrical hookups and sometimes even had to carry water to our campsites. We let the girls plan our menus and the shopping list, the first camp out was the hardest. We were hungry, but they learned a lot about how much food to plan when you have an active itinerary planned. Cub Scouts and family camping certainly increased my appreciation for being outdoors. Over the years I have certainly learned a lot about outdoor cooking. I love Dutch oven cooking! Hiking has become one of my favorite past times. I love lugging around my digital SLR and taking photographs of my outdoor experiences, but I am learning my limits. I am now content with my iPhone if the hike is going to be a strenuous one.

We arrived at Guadalupe National Park (a link to park website has been slow in coming this broadband air card is sporadic in west Texas) at 9:45AM, Sunday December 28, 2008. Here is link to the park map pdf file. We stopped at the park entrance, registered and paid our fees. Jon was adamant that he did not want to hike up to the top. He had taken some nasty spills at White Sands the day before. He had hurt his left leg and a rib in his last slide down a very steep dune. So, the rest of us loaded our packs with water and food. I offloaded my beloved camera and its gear. I also left my pen collection and other junk that I would not need in the car. We distributed outerwear so that everyone would be warm enough in the shaded areas, and then headed out and up (about 10:10AM). The hike is rated a strenuous hike. It is a change in elevation from 5734 to 8749 feet over 4.13 miles one way. It starts off with some fairly steep switchbacks. Emily's previous hill experience was hiking at Enchanted Rock in the Texas Hill Country. The rest of us had done some hiking in different hill and mountain country, but we had not done one with a round trip of over 8 miles. Into the second switchback Emily was complaining about her lung capacity. She is a regular runner (4-5 miles 4 times a week) but she had never climbed before. And being flatlanders, we rarely get the opportunity to practice hiking with a change in elevation.

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After climbing some more and resting periodically we established a routine with periodic rests that worked well for us. 45 minutes into our climb we came out of the worst of the first elevation changing switchbacks and had a trail mix break. Zack looked up and said, "Hey! there is Jon." I thought he was joking. Jon said that he had started off about 20 minutes after us and he caught up to us. He walked with a couple different groups on his way up and then left them behind him. He appeared to be in pretty good shape but I soon learned that as strenuous as the climb up is in terms of energy consumption, the climb down is hard on the calves, knees and hips. We encountered some great views, and some disturbingly deep gorges and canyons that I refused to looked down into! We came upon two different downed pine trees that we had to scamper over or under depending on the person (Steve went over this particular tree and Zack went under, that is my shadow in the foreground). One washed out area has been fixed with a bridge. Our Texas El Capitan was so impressive looking from the picnic area at the bottom of the mountains. From there it looks majestic, its appearance dominating the landscape. Steve pointed out Guadalupe Peak. From that vantage point it didn't look like much compared to El Capitan. After 2 to 2.5 hours (12:00PM or so) of climbing we stopped and had lunch on some flat rocks just above the Guadalupe Camping Area (backpack camping area). Then we resumed our climb. Some switchbacks later, we rounded a bend and we were looking down at El Capitan. It is beautiful but in a different way when you are looking down on it. We reached the summit around 1:30PM. Everyone signed the log book; we took photos and enjoyed the view from up top for half an hour. Check out my pictures of El Capitan from the peak. The alkali or salt flats are pretty cool looking too. You can see Sierra Blanca from the top of Guadalupe Peak. We were right in this mountain's backyard when we played on the dunes of White Sands. A little after 2:00PM we started our descent.

Now I know the benefits of calf raises. I will be doing a lot more calf raises before our next climbing adventure! I felt good when we started down. After descending for a mile my knees and calves were not enjoying themselves anymore. The trip down any mountain is a controlled fall. You are constantly slowing yourself down, stopping yourself from tumbling down the side of the mountain. Soon enough, the slight dips where we descended and ascended again started to feel really good! A walking stick would have helped in the spots with steep elevation changes. Even with breaks to stretch out the tortured calves the trip down look less than half the time of the trip up! Jon suffered the most on the trip down. His sore leg got sorer as he made his way down the mountain. He lurked behind us and kept his own pace. From past experience driving and hiking in mountains, we knew that the elevation change brings some increase in gases in the intestines. Emily was quite disgusted by my ability to let gas out! On the climb up letting loose was easy, but 5 hours later we were all concerned about whether we just had gas or not. This gave us an added incentive to get down at a healthy clip. At the bottom we found the bathroom and waited another 10 minutes or so for Jon. As the sun went down behind the mountains it became colder and colder. We started back towards El Paso and once again enjoyed a beautiful sunset. The new moon with Venus, Jupiter and Saturn was beautiful in the sky.

The extent of the torture of the calves was not really evident until Tuesday morning. Wow! That second day pain is so much more than the first day after you have tortured your muscles.

The evening of December 26, 2008 we arrived at Lynn and Steve's house in El Paso, TX. We talked, we caught up on the lives of our relatives, and we ate great French Onion Soup and then we talked and visited some more. Afterwards, we got the bedding situation all settled and made beds up for everyone. The next morning was a very chilly with a brisk wind blowing. The winds were gusting up to 25 mph and snow flurries were in the air. The tops of the roofs in the Upper Valley neighborhood where Lynn and Steve live were dusted with snow. We took our typical early morning stroll (okay, I will admit that we bundled up more than usual). After Lynn fed the boys eggs and cheese, we packed a picnic lunch and headed north towards Las Cruces around 10AM. We took the state highway out of Las Cruces towards Alamogordo and White Sands. Heading through the GAP towards White Sands there is a great view of the desert floor and valley. They actually close the highway frequently when there is missile testing at White Sands Missile Range next posted closing was scheduled for Dec. 29, 2008. We went through a border patrol station, yes we are all citizens, and yes we are visiting White Sands.

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From there we could begin to see the dunes. They looked odd to me. A mottled color of white and beige; not the same bright color I remembered from the trip Jon, Zack and I made two summers ago (here are pictures from that trip). The closer we got to the park entrance the odder it looked to me. We stopped in at the entrance to the National Park, hopped out of the car, and discovered snow! It had snowed a couple of inches. The whiteness of the snow made the dunes look dingy and not white! When we arrived we were told that the park rangers had the dirt road closed off. We were only going to be able to go as far as the paved road and then hike in to where ever we wanted to go. The sun came out, the air was warming and the snow and ice was starting to melt. It was slower to melt on the gypsum sand than on the asphalt and dirt roads. For the adults viewing the awe inspiring dunes and the surrounding mountains and the way the landscape changes the further back you go into the park is the highlight. For the under 25 crowd hiking and going down the dune hills on snow saucers is the prime attraction, so we purchased an extra saucer (so we could play with two) and off we went (Emily made a great little video of the sledding adventures I will add a link here after she uploads it, this is a youtube link).

After we had been in the park about an hour, the park rangers opened up the rest of the park roads. We headed the back of the park, parked the car and started down the Alkali Flats trail. We did a lot of up and down hiking. The sled riders did a lot of hiking up a dune and then sliding down. Starting on sand, transitioning to snow and then hitting sand again was tricky. Zack, Em and Jon soon learned how to transition and how to follow the snow line. There were plenty of spills; some more spectacular than others. Since Emily was the only one shooting video, we don't have any evidence of her spills. The one where she ended up going over the edge backwards was particularly good. Another time she and Jon started down on one saucer and she was unceremoniously pushed off the saucer and slid down on her own. The soft or growing edges of the dunes were very difficult to climb. Angel had the easiest time climbing up the dunes; there are advantages to having four legs when climbing. Walking down these edges was a step by mini landslide by step process. I was surprised to find my shoes were tight enough to keep out a lot of sand. Jon and Zack took on a lot of sand and ended up with wet shoes from the snow.

Jon and Zack vote for White Sands as being their favorite place from this trip. This was really a unique experience, to have snow on the dunes. The boys were looking forward to using snow saucers on the sand dunes, so it was a mega bonus to get to enjoy using the snow saucers on snow! I have seen sand dunes on the east coast (NC), in Florida (Miami and Key West), Galveston, California and the terrific dunes of Lake Michigan. White Sands is different, no large body of water, and cool to the touch. It is definitely one of the best sites of the U.S. West. Although this place was great and we had a fun time, I really love the mountains more. Our time at the park ended and we headed back to El Paso. The sunset through the gap as we traveled east on Hwy 70 was spectacular my camera was in the back of car, so these photos from my iPhone will have to do. We have always said that the New Mexico sunsets are the best, and this one supported that ascertain!

So, we were going to leave Pearland at 5:00AM, December 26, 2008. It sounded good, it sounded like a plan. But getting 5 people all packed up and out the door at that hour is not easy. Especially on the day after Christmas, we really had a difficult time getting out of bed! We did get on the road a little after 6 AM. Traveling has gone pretty well. Movies for the group in back (Em, Jon and Z) and a great new book from Malcolm Gladwell called Outliers for the driver and front seat passenger. For a little while everyone was listening to the book. Then the book theme changed and we lost the younger members to another movie. The iphone works great through the aux stereo jack. I got David an XM radio receiver for Christmas; I suppose we will try it out on the way back home. It is something he has been wanting for years now, but would never purchase for himself. I really like buying him things that I know that he will not buy himself. The next purchase will be a car. The time has come to hand down the Voyager and replace it with something smaller, maybe sportier (I will try to argue for this, but may fail) and more fuel efficient. With his new job, David will be parking a parking garage 3-4 days a week. A smaller car would be so much better for that!

We stopped in Comfort, TX and ate at a little café/diner/biergarten with a buffet. The place was right on Hwy 27, it was called Double D. The boys got different sized hamburgers. I took several photos of Jon's hamburger.

From elpaso trip 2008

Well, don't really have time for a longwinded blog this morning. In fact, I am rapidly running out of morning. Started the day with our normal early morning workout, then coffee at Starbucks, some last minute grocery and Christmas shopping, wrapping presents and then try to make it to the 1:30pm service at New Hope Church. I just want to make sure that I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas! We will be visiting El Paso after Christmas so don't be surprised if you don't hear from me until after the New Year. In addition to visiting with family; we are planning on hiking the Guadalupe Mountains, playing in the White Sands and maybe hike in the Franklins again.

Starting out low and working my way up! This applies to my emotions today and our trip to the Texas Rock Gym Saturday night! Sometimes the day just starts out in a low spot and you have to work your way to a better frame of mind. Other days start out well and continue in that vein. This is one of those days. Started it out stiff and sore, worked out and loosened up some. Now I just have to loosen up the mental aspects. That is what I enjoy the most about writing a blog. It helps me sweep away some of the cobwebs and clears my head. So, when I am being down on myself, or sound like I am being too harsh on myself, I am really working things out in my mind. I need to analyze and go over things. Please don't feel bad for me because, I really do feel better after doing that.

The weekend went well from my perspective anyways. First thing Saturday we walked 3 miles, then went out to breakfast (BTW only men eat out at Busy Bee Café at 5:45AM on a Saturday morning). We picked up some kolaches for the boys and went home to wake them up. We all went up to Pearland FUMC to help deliver baskets to the needy. Pearland FUMC works with Christian Helping Hands to help out the needy families in our area. We had lots of our Scouts and Parents from Boy Scout Troop 464 show up to help. It is always good for our boys to be helpful, but it is even better for them to see how others live, they need to see that other people do not have the things that they have. Some families move from the time they apply to Christian Helping Hands for help, and aren't there to get their basket.  The poorest people tend to move a lot.  Here is a slideshow from the MFC where we started out to pick up the baskets and a turkey to deliver to each family.       

I have been to rock climbing gyms before, but I have never participated. I was always happy standing by and taking photographs. Saturday night, our troop met at the Texas Rock Gym in Spring Branch for a lock-in. It was so much fun! I didn't know that I would like it so much. I am still terrified of climbing. The first trip up was a 2/3 up the wall trip. I have a very hard time closer to the top. My heart rate increases dramatically and my hands become incredibly sweaty. Then I become very unsure about going any higher. I posted photos from the overnighter at Texas Rock Gym. The boys had a good time.  I enjoyed belaying and coaching them up the wall.  Looking up and watching them is tiring.  Belaying uses the triceps and hand strength.  With a little coaching from my husband and friends I was able to make it up one wall, and then another. The walls varied in height from 24 feet to 30 feet. If you look carefully at the slideshow you might find some photos of me climbing.       

Some days just don't seem to get off to a good beginning. Once in a while we start the day off with a fight or an argument. It leaves a pall on the rest of the day. Those days leave me with an unsettled feeling. The day is gloomy, and it takes hours or a whole day even for a glimpse of happiness to appear. An emotional draining experience at the beginning of the day just zaps my energy. Fighting or arguing first thing in the day is just the worst! BUT let me think about the flip side. Well, maybe I will take that conclusion back. It is definitely worse to end the day with an unresolved fight. That type of night leads to sleeplessness and endless thinking. By the end of the night your head is pounding and you can't start the next day right. I need to work on being more gracious and open minded, accepting what is said at face value, and not reading too much into them. I am defensive and at times unrelenting about it. On the other hand, one thing I do like about a good fight is that making up can be fun and invigorating! BUT that is not worth the trouble of having the fight in the first place…

Another lead from my husband David and I am thinking about giving and taking. He has come up with yet another very interesting study this time from the December publication of the journal Psychological Science. The study discusses the findings of giving and taking games that involved money. According to the researchers there are more negative outcomes for taking than giving. More "taking" leads to people wanting or willing to take more. The takers take at a higher rate than the givers will give based on reciprocity exchange.

Anecdotally I think I have perceived this behavior in my college students. The more "help" or aid you provide, the more that they expect from you. It is very disappointing to a college instructor to be asked for more. Every week of a lecture course I spend hours updating, reworking and relearning my topic for the week (the first time I teach a topic it takes many more hours than this to prepare for class – upwards of 4 hours for each hour of lecture). For laboratory experiments the preparation is not quite the same but I still spend time reviewing the material and finding ways to relate it to real life experiences or to the topics the students are covering in the lecture course. Then there is the actually lab set up with the help of my graduate students (teaching assistant). Traditionally it was accepted that in order to pass a course a student would spend 3 hours studying for each credit hour they are receiving for the course and that is PER WEEK! I find that the more my students are enabled by others (and by me too) the more they expect!

I also have some thoughts on giving based on a recent holiday luncheon. Each person attending was asked to bring one side dish or dessert to share. For some (perhaps most of the attendees) this entailed a decision to make a minimal effort, while others obviously wanted to share their favorite recipe or cultural dish and spent time to create this. I couldn't even have imagined the surprise on some people's faces when I decided to prepare two different dishes. I broke the rule by making a large casserole side dish and a dessert. I went beyond and provided two homemade dishes. I enjoy cooking; I like to put effort into preparing things (in this case food) that others might enjoy. There is no better high for me than to come home with an empty dish. I hope that those who ate what I prepared like it and come back for seconds. It is much easier for me to give than to graciously receive. At least that is how I see myself. I don't know this to be true. It could be an erroneous perception.

I will be studying social ethics and decision making. I am very interested in altruism and selfishness. So, I want to read, digest and come back to this topic another day.

Giving and Taking is my next theme. Unfortunately, it has really captured the researching side of my personality. I am now reserving books and looking at the ethical side of decision making. So, one never knows where you will end up when you start with one idea and follow it through a path to another destination. I will get back to giving and taking, but only after I do some reading. Emily our UT graduate who has a degree in Sociology gave me some excellent leads on reading material over this subject.

On another note, hanging out with cheerful and happy people certainly has had the desired effect. I am feeling better and I hope curbing the negative comments and sarcastic retorts. It is not easy and but it is necessary! Every day it is a little easier.

Yesterday, I met with a person who needed to unload some stuff (a relationship with friends had gone wrong). She really needed a sympathetic ear. She is needy and I think a little lonely. I was able to keep her from sharing any gossip with me and stick to the things that had directly affected her. I hope that by listening I helped her, but it is not something I can routinely do. It is too hard to be around such negativity. It drains you!

I did get good news from a dear friend. I really have big hopes for my friend. I am very happy for him.

Wow I have just rambled on about multiple topics. I guess today you get the fractured version of Fay. I can't seem to focus on any one theme.

Trustworthy, Loyal, Integrity, Honesty

Conversations about character and personal growth bring to mind these types of adjectives that describe a person's adherence to ethics and moral standards. The first two terms are the first of the 12 points of the scout law. Trustworthy means that you are worthy of trust, that you are a person who others can rely on to do the right thing; you are the person who will accomplish an assigned task. I discussed my beliefs about integrity and how I felt that I had fallen short. It was in the arenas of loyalty and trustworthiness that I failed the most. But I believe it is because I am a person of integrity that I have been eaten up with guilt and remorse about my behavior and some of the choices I have made over the years. The good thing is that I also believe that people are redeemable, that you can change your ways and live up to your capabilities.

Loyalty to a friend can lead you to do things that you wouldn't normally do. It can lead you to be complicit in gossiping, in talking bad about other people. Even if you do not pass on gossip; listening to it and not walking away condones the act. Sometimes your loyalty is misplaced. It is because you feel beholden to someone. When a person is friendly and starts offering to do favors for you it is all too easy to fall into a deficit. You can't quite repay each favor (you are in a deficit in magnitude or total number of favors). After a time, you build a very needy relationship. You are always feeling like you owe your friend. You hang out and tolerate the constant negativity, the gossipy talk and catty comments because you are afraid to damage your friendship. You think that your life will be less in some way without this person in it.

When you reach the end and you decide you will not tolerate the negativity anymore you will find a way to be honest to yourself and walk away. When this happens you will find that others felt like you did, but they were better people. They were able to walk away from this negative person and be better people themselves. You find that you have lots of friends; true friends that have watched you from afar and waited for you to come to your senses. Will this person ever realize that it was their negative attitude, comments and gossip that drove you away? I don't think so. I really don't think that this person has those kinds of introspective moments. Instead, I am sure that in her mind I am the ungrateful one, the one who threw away a friendship for whatever catty reason that my former friend could rationalize for herself. She will never realize how much I love her as a person, a friend and how hard it was to walk away. I had to walk away because I needed to be around positive people. I needed to be cheerful and friendly with all people. I couldn't do this and stay tied to my friend. It is 6 months later and this is still a very sad part of my life. So, I have remained silent on this topic. I won't gossip about her, or talk badly even when I learned from a "mutual" friend that I had been the subject of many catty and gossipy comments. I have remained loyal after a fashion, because I have refused to be negative towards this friend. In fact, I have vowed to continue to be positive, cheerful and pray for a day when it might be possible to be friends again.

Definitions of 'integrity' (ĭn-tĕǵrĭ-tē) - 3 definitions - The American Heritage® Dictionary

integrity	(n.)	Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code.
integrity	(n.)	The state of being unimpaired; soundness.
integrity	(n.)	The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness.

Integrity comprises perceived consistency of actions, values, methods, measures and principles. A value system's abstraction depth and range of applicable interaction are also significant factors due to their congruence with a empirical observation. A value system may evolve over time while retaining integrity if those who espouse the values account for and resolve inconsistencies.

So, I think (this is my opinion, my conclusion after researching integrity) that it is more correct to say that integrity is more about all of your choices, actions, thoughts; it is everything you do.  So, integrity is a perception, a version of your reality.  If you act, think, do based on adhering to the Scout Law (a topic that has been on my mind of late, see yesterday's blog) then that is your base line for integrity.  If you are in the group of people that believes that there are shades of grey and levels of lies that can be told based on how harmful the truth is to other people, then you will tell the little white lie and still retain your integrity. 

Integrity is saying and doing things but with an adherence to your personal moral or ethical code.  It is being truthful to yourself, so I guess in the end making a right choice even when no one is looking shows integrity, but it is not integrity.  When one falls short of her own ethical standards, she loses respect for herself and feels like she is a person of lesser integrity.  In that case it doesn't matter what perception anyone else has about you.  You are the one who has to live with your choices and actions.  You are the one who feels like you have lost personal integrity.  Typical of my behavior pattern I am guilty of deep introspection.  In particular, I have been thinking about my actions and their consequences. My conclusion is that I have much growing to do as a person.  One area I am working on is my integrity.  I hope that you will see a difference and commend me on my efforts!

On average, every happy friend increases your own chance of being happy by 9 percent. Each unhappy friend decreases it by 7 percent.

Happiness, the researchers found, spreads in a social network up to three degrees of separation: You are 15 percent more likely to be happy if directly connected to a happy person; 10 percent if it's the friend of a friend who is happy; and 6 percent if it's the friend of a friend of a friend.

Unhappiness also spreads, but not nearly as much.

"The effects we observe may not seem like much at first," said Fowler, "but consider that $5,000 extra dollars, in 1984, was associated with just a 2 percent increase in happiness and you see that the power of other people is incredible. Someone you don't know and have never met – the friend of a friend of a friend – can have a greater influence than hundreds of bills in your pocket."

This helps me feel validated in surrounding myself with more positive people.  My decision of 5 months ago to work on friendships that were of a more positive nature seems to be supported by the latest research in sociology.  At that time I wanted to surround myself with people who would be a good influence on my behavior and help me eliminate the negative behaviors (like gossiping and otherwise being negative about other people).  The outcome for me is that I have stayed more positive, eliminated some of the sarcasm from my speech, and overall I think I come across as a happier person.  I hope that you too will try to surround yourself with happy people!  If that is not possible then try to be that positive person that is bringing happiness to others.  Just remember to continually associate with more happy people than unhappy people so that your balance is on the happy side!