Volunteers, those  people who are willing to give up their time for free to work for a worthwhile cause.  That cause can be in support of their local PTA, the Chamber of Commerce, their political party, the local Y, Salvation Army, or Church ministries.  Volunteering is not hip, it is not in, it doesn't earn you a raise in pay.  The benefits from giving away your time are often intangible, not measurable.

Not every person is willing to volunteer.  I am not sure whose fault that is.  But surely it can't be your fault.  AND if you are thinking about volunteering don't bother, you already do enough.  Surely, someone else will step up and do it.  You are way too busy, you should make sure that everyone knows how busy too, then they will be less inclined to ask you to do anything.  Excuses abound, and it is very rare that they would start with I just didn't want to, or I am chosing not to do this.  Instead, there is fault, an assignment of fault to someone else, something else, and usually not to the real reason you don't volunteer.  

Does it sound selfish and selfindulgent to say I am going to workout instead volunteering?  You could also substitute in I am going to play golf, or go hunting, or go to the beach, or read a book, or write a blog posting?  I find it difficult to give any of these as a reason.  I wouldn't want my aquaintances to think that I am selfish, that I am spending time on myself. Is it wrong to spend time on yourself? I don't think so, especially if you usually are the person who is the volunteer.  Everyone should have time to do the things that they want to do.  This doesn't always work out because of work or family obligations, but letting volunteer activities take over your life is wrong too.

What I am afraid of is that we will come to a time when no one volunteers to do work that needs to be done.  If this happens then it hurts our community.  So, I somehow need to find a balance. You don't always have to be the go to person, the one who gives away all their time.  Instead, I hope to be able to inspire others.  I am trying to figure out a way to convince others to volunteer a few hours a week.  If more people volunteered a few hours, then the work load would be lighter for everyone and we would feel less put upon.  But how to effect this type of change in people, what kind of bribe or propaganda would work?  Well, don't worry about it, because I know it isn't your fault, and someone else will step up and do it.  At least I hope they will.

I often wonder what motivates people, or not.  It seems that apathy is much more powerful than motivation.  The more negative and the more depressed a person is, the less they are motivated to do anything.  As I was sitting in Starbucks the other day two women were discussing a whole range of topics from children, education, health, fitness, their size, their body types and happiness.  Most women blame having children for their present size.  Others blame some accident of bad genetics.  One of these women was talking about how much happier she was since she stopped worrying about her size and weight.  Asserting that she wasn't a slave to her looks anymore.  What struck me as unusual about her claim is that her body language did not say I am a happy person.  Not just her body language, her facial expressions, and a lack of laughter or mirth as they discussed these issues.  

Since we have gotten to the place where over 70% of our population is overweight (and a high percent of these are obese) these are important issues.  Is happiness size dependent?  No, not at all, some of these people are very comfortable with themselves some are happy.  It is independent of their size, but as I read in a great book by Francis Kuffle called Passing for Thin Losing Half My Weight and Finding Myself this can be deceiving.  She is funny, insightful and honestly tells you her feelings about obesity, and I will let you know that she is not altogether sympathetic in the way that she talks about other obese people. But really, why try to couch the description of fat people in politically correct terms?  She is not mean-spirited in her book, she really does understand the plight of the obese.  Why they sit where they do, how they decide where to sit, what to wear so that they are comfortable. She reminds the reader that food is sensous, food is enticing, food can be a great comfort when you are unhappy. Food addiction, like any other addiction, has to be cured from within.  Addicition to food and overeating result in weight gain. Weight gain is at its simplest the result of routinely eating more calories than your body burns. 

Whenever I have gained weight I have always been affected both physically and emotionally.  My energy level, sex drive, and overall self-image suffer.  Being thinner doesn't make you happier, it is the increase in your energy level, the way you feel when you look in the mirror, and the feeling that you are in control that have made me happier.  These things become a motivational force, help me to maintain.  I believe that if you are truly happy it will be reflected in your life in many different ways.  You won't have to tell people you are happy, they will look at you and know that you are happy, really!  

All stories have a starting point.  Sometimes it is hard to pinpoint that beginning but this story began in May 2008, it started with a visit to the doctor for my annual Boy Scout physical exam.  I got on the scale and the voice inside my head screamed.  How can a person maintain the same weight for years and without any change in activity level or eating habits the weight creeps up!  You just have to love the changes that come to a body approaching 45.  I had gained 30 pounds in 2 years.  I had gone from a sort of respectable 130 pounds to 160!  The fashion industry doesn't really help with their ever changing and redefinition of clothing sizes.  This doctor visit lead to a new resolution from Fay.  I was determined to change me, to get physically fit and lose the extra weight.  Some of this time commitment was not possible even 5 years ago, but with the children growing older I decided I could afford to be a little selfish and use time for something that would benefit me! 

I started on the treadmill at home.  Walking a mile or two miles every day.  Didn't seem too difficult, but making it routine took a while.  Then even as we were having marital problems, David and I began getting up at 5AM and walking for at least 45 minutes every day.  I am sure that the stress of our problems made it easier to lose weight.  I eventually started jogging on the treadmill, a very slow pace at first, but gradually increased it.  And as I started seeing results, I started really watching the calories, severely cutting back to a 1000 to 1200 calorie diet.  Counting and measuring food, staying away from all red meats and fats.  Lowering the amount of carbohydrates as we refined the diet.  White stuff was exited out of our diet, avoiding refined sugar, high fructose corn syrup, white bread, white rice, and white pasta.  

Coincidentally, I also ditched some negative friends at the same time, trying to change the atmosphere of my life.  Gossip, snarky commentary, and negative attitudes drain a person.  They make you more negative, cause you to see things through negative eyes.  I think my attitude and over all personality are much more positive and cheerful.  I hope that others see me as a friendly force!

The restyling of my life continued into the fall of 2008.  We continued our walks and added a gym membership.  Soon we were swimming at the gym 3 days a week.  The natural progression was to add a personal trainer.  Learning how to work out, how to balance the cardio workouts with weights and resistance training.  Reshaping my body as I lost more weight. I had been able to drop 30 pounds in about 3 months.  Then from September to January I lost another 15 pounds.  I am now still holding on to a respectable 115 pounds, I have a very low body fat percentage for a woman.  I love to run and am enduring the swims.  I never thought I would enjoy working out like I do.  I didn't think I would stick to it, be so consistent.  I don't know what is next.  I am not sure what my next fitness goal is going to be.  I am stronger and fitter than I have ever been.  I never thought that I would be in such great shape at 45.  It has resulted in a more energetic, sexy and healthy person!  

So, if you want to make changes to yourself, physically and mentally it is possible.  You can be a better person, you can remake your body.  Is it easy?  Of course not, it takes will power, it takes self awareness.  Keeping a positive attitude takes energy.  It takes changing how you think about problems, changing a turd into a rose so to speak!  So, if you need encouragement, want or need a cheerleader I am here.  Send me an email I'll do what I can to help you.  But first you have to be determined to help yourself!

fay@sixwatsons.com